Suzumiya Haruhi no Tsuisou - 322: Spinning Interview

[slave_of_suzumiya]

??? Somebody: Kyon!

Hm? Oh, it's Haruhi and Koizumi. I only just finished talking to them not that long ago...
ハルヒ Haruhi: I've decided! I'll be the producer!
キョン Kyon: What?

ハルヒ Haruhi: For that upperclassman entering the contest. I'll guide her to victory.
キョン Kyon: So basically, you want to help with her election campaign?

ハルヒ Haruhi: But it's not decided yet. I need to interview her. Introduce me to her.
キョン Kyon: Well, I was on my way to Asahina-san's class at the moment anyway, so I guess you can...

ハルヒ Haruhi: Let's go!!

古泉 Koizumi: ... And that's that. We're counting on you.
キョン Kyon: Yeah, got it. ... Oi, Haruhi! Asahina-san's classroom isn't in that direction!


キョン Kyon: Tsuruya-san.
鶴屋さん Tsuruya-san: Ah, boy! Did ya hand in that entry form?
キョン Kyon: Yeah. By the way, these are two acquaintances of mine that wish to help with Asahina-san's election campaign...

鶴屋さん Tsuruya-san: ... Two? But ya only got one person there?

キョン Kyon: Wha? Koizumi, where's Haruhi?

古泉 Koizumi: She... already barged right into the classroom.
ハルヒ Haruhi: Which one of you is Mikuru Asahina-chan? Get over here!
キョン Kyon: Ugh, oi oi!

みくる Mikuru: Uh... Hi, that's me...

ハルヒ Haruhi: Ah, it's you. Would you mind standing there and spinning for me?
みくる Mikuru: ... What?

ハルヒ Haruhi: Just spin! In a circle, like a ballerina!

みくる Mikuru: Y-yes ma'am!

みくる Mikuru: L-like this...?
ハルヒ Haruhi: Yep, that's right. Now jump.
みくる Mikuru: ... W-what?
ハルヒ Haruhi: Jump. Like a bunny! Now!
みくる Mikuru: O-okaaay...
ハルヒ Haruhi: Hmm... I like it.
Are you trying to give her a shakedown, Haruhi?
鶴屋さん Tsuruya-san: ... Uh boy, what's goin' on?
キョン Kyon: Ah, well, that's... She's an acquaintance of mine, Haruhi Suzumiya, apparently she's taken an interest in Asahina-san... This is supposedly what she considers an interview.
鶴屋さん Tsuruya-san: ... Ahahaha!

鶴屋さん Tsuruya-san: You've got some interestin' friends, boy! This is great! Let 'em help!
キョン Kyon: Eh, you're serious?

鶴屋さん Tsuruya-san: The darnest of tootin's! I'm gonna be stuck here at the Yakisoba Cafe, so havin' a few extra assistants will be a big help.
キョン Kyon: I feel like things are going to escalate way beyond the level of mere assistance...

鶴屋さん Tsuruya-san: Fine by me! I get the feelin' I can rely on that girl. I like to rely on my instincts! So she's absolutely on board!
キョン Kyon: Huh...

鶴屋さん Tsuruya-san: Anyway, I think we're better off talkin' 'bout this somewhere where Mikuru ain't gonna hear us.
キョン Kyon: You're right. Asahina-san still doesn't know anything about the whole Miss North High thing.

鶴屋さん Tsuruya-san: I should be able to slip out for a bit just after 1:00, so how about we meet somewhere then? How about the main buildin's roof exit? The roof access is locked off at the moment, so there ain't likely to be any people there.
キョン Kyon: Roger that.

鶴屋さん Tsuruya-san: I'll see ya there.

Afterwards, demon coach Haruhi continued barking orders at Asahina-san like “Act like you're searching for a lost baby bird while eating a mud pie!”
She and Koizumi had somehow brought her out of the classroom at some point.
Asahina-san... She was completely clueless as to what was going on as she sat on the floor in a daze. I'm sorry, I truly am.